Have you ever had someone rip the heart out of you? And maybe even worse, they didn't realize what they had done. It might have been a look, it might have been a word, it might have been an action. But all of a sudden you found yourself lost at sea with your mainsail ripped to shreds, feeling damaged and rudderless.

On the flip side have you ever had someone make a comment or touch you in a particular way that turned your world inside out and set you on a new journey, a new destination that enabled you to use ever more of your potential?

I know I have been buffeted by someone elses emotional wake, both in a positive and a negative way - and many times the other person was oblivious to their impact.

You see for someone, like you a Breakthrough Leader, a person who wants to have an impact in the world, there is never a trivial comment, an insignificant look, a passing glance.

I remember my sister telling me one time about a comment I had said to her that had caused her for years to feel insignificant and powerless. A conversation I don't even remember.

So are you responsible for how others feel? Heck no. As I've said elsewhere, every person is responsible for his or her own emotional happiness. You have absolutely no control over how another person is going to react and give up trying to control it - you can't. Each person must step above the line and take responsibility for how they respond to people and circumstances in their life.

However, having said that ...

Wouldn't you like to feel that the emotional wake you leave behind is one that inspires and ignites rather than deflates and demoralizes?

I certainly know that after I've left someone - be it a loved one, a client, someone who has served me in a store - that the emotional wake I leave behind is 'feel good' because I'm feeling good - that I am living my life as a message and not a warning.

Does that mean I never have tough conversations with people? That I let people who are under-performing live below the line? Heck no! But, before I talk with them, I spend time looking for and focusing on the good that I see in this person. I ask myself questions like, 'How can I share with them a different perspective that might enable them to view their actions through a different lens, yet still uplifts them?' 'How can I help them grow while still letting them know that they are perfect where they are?'

Do I get it right every time? Heck no. If only I was perfect I still at times find myself haranguing Connor (my daughter) about something or giving her that look - you know the one that says 'you're a mess-up'. But what I am getting good at is the moment of choice.

It is in the moment of choice that I have the opportunity to decide - keep going down this path - hectoring, judging and misaligned with my true self - how will that make me and Connor feel? Or do I make the choice to realign and be an uplifter an inspirer, a person and Mother who leaves an emotional wake that creates a story that enhances her and me?

When I make use of the moment of choice, it is then that I become more of who I truly am and in that moment it helps me to find the words, gestures, body language that helps both her and I grow.

You see by being deliberate about the vibe I am sending, making the decision that I am an uplifter, that my intent in every interaction is to leave an emotional wake that buoys not drowns, well I give myself every chance to get it right more often than not.

What about you? What emotional wake are you leaving behind? Use the moment of choice to be who you are meant to be - an uplifter and a lover of others who constantly expands this wonderful universe through actions that inspire.